Grrr…today was supposed to be my day off. HOWEVER, I caught problems ALL DANG DAY from my stepdad. He starts off wanting me to sell my computer so I can come up with a way to pay off the car even SOONER. Every freakin’ day the deal changes. And I am NOT selling my computer…not for negotiation. I have now until June 10th to get the car paid off, then I have to sell the computer if I fail. The point is to have the ability to find another job in Waco that pays more than $8.00/hr…possibly at Foley’s or Mervyn’s. But the whole ordeal was so frustrating, I thought of (and not that I would ever go through with it, or even attempt it)… suicide. But it was an extreme thought. I could never do something like that…it is against my nature, seeing as how it would be the ultimate failure.
Ugh…this morning…it was just so frustrating. I even felt compelled to draw the stick figure girl from The Ring with the hair down the front of her face.
I just had to think about the situation more before I decided what steps to take. It’s not fair for my stepdad to think on these “plans” for my future, involving selling my stuff and just tell me one day out of the blue, and expect me to just go along with it. I have decided that if I am not promoted to Manager by the end of February, I am applying for a job at Texaco, next to DQ, to work nights. Then I can work days at DQ and nights at Texaco. That will give me enough money to pay my health insurance and the quadruple car payments. Then I don’t cut it so close with my bank account.
Well…I got called into work today because they had a bus pull through 30 minutes to closing. So I made an extra $16 tonight. That’ll help with something I have to pay for.
Man, am I tired though…and cold. I think that’s all for tonight. Laterz.
- Song in my head: Let’s Start Over – Box Car Racers
- Craving: Water
- Mood: Frustrated/Sleepy
- Thought: “If I can pull this car deal off, maybe my stepdad will trust me a little more. I just need motivation, and paying for something in the future, that I already have now is not a good thing to me. Don’t take my computer, it serves as tv, radio, phone, newspaper, mailbox, games, documents, and most everything but food, bed and roof.”
- Quote: “I love you, I hate you, I can’t live without you” – Always, Saliva
